The Goy’s Guide to Passover from an Honorary Jew

CakeWrecks Sassover

Quick: why is this Passover cake a fail in more ways than one? No clue? Read on, my Gentile friend.

Yesterday marked the beginning of Passover, the eight-day Jewish holiday commemorating the liberation of the Israelites from slavery in ancient Egypt. The traditions observed during the holiday encourage the Jewish people to reflect on and, to a degree, relive the history of their ancestors to better appreciate their experiences. Justin often jokes that Jewish holidays revolve around eating and drinking under the guise of religious observance, and food and wine certainly play a starring role during Passover. If you’re headed to a Seder tonight and are looking for a goy’s guide to the holiday, this honorary Jew has covered the basics for you:

Pesach:
The Hebrew term for Passover. The word means to pass through or over, symbolizing God passing over and sparing Jewish households during the slaying of the firstborn in Egypt.

Chametz:
Perhaps the most significant observance during Passover is the elimination of chametz, or leavened grains, which commemorates the fact that the Jews fleeing Egypt did not have time to allow their bread to rise. Goodbye, carbs. Anything made from the five major grains (wheat, rye, barley, oats, and spelt) that has not been completely cooked within 18 minutes after first coming into contact with water is considered chametz and is not eaten during Passover. Some families even clear their homes of all chametz (and do a thorough cleaning any surface that may have come into contact with it) leading up to the holiday. Full disclosure: my Hawaiian shortbread cookies are still in our cupboard. Depending on someone’s ethnic origins, they may also avoid rice, corn, and legumes, which are grown and/or processed near chametz. These items are referred to as kitniyot. Symbolically, the practice also encourages one to remove the puffiness (i.e. arrogance) from their lives–a little dose of Jewish guilt for when people are feeling sorry for themselves and missing bread.

Matzoh: 
Ah, matzoh. These cracker-like unleavened sheets of bread take the place of chametz during Passover. If you begin to opine that matzoh “isn’t that bad,” you will annoy everyone at the table who will invariably be sick of the stuff in two days.

The Seder:
The focal point of Passover is the Seder, a fifteen-step family tradition and dinner observed on the first two nights of the holiday (i.e. this is where you come in, Gentile). During the Seder, someone will read from the Haggadah, a liturgy that tells the story of the exodus from Egypt and explains the symbols and practices of the holiday. See? Instructions are built-in! Follow along and you’ll be fine. Bonus: you get to drink four glasses of wine. You know, to commemorate freedom.

The Seder Plate:
Each item on the Seder plate has a symbolic meaning relevant to the Passover story. 

Seder Plate

*Shankbone (Zro’a): A roasted shankbone symbolizes the lamb that the Jews sacrificed as a special Passover offering before their exodus.

*Egg (Beitzah): A hard-boiled egg represents the traditional offering at the temple in Jerusalem that was required on every holiday. The roundness of the egg also symbolizes the cycle of life– even in the most difficult of times, there is hope for a new beginning. In the words of Rust Cohle…time is a flat circle.

*Bitter Herbs (Maror): Bitter herbs such as horseradish serve as a reminder of the bitterness of slavery.

*Charoset: This mixture of apples, nuts and wine represents the mortar used by the Israelite slaves as they constructed buildings for the Pharaoh and is delicious.

*Karpas: A green vegetable, usually parsley, that represents the initial flourishing of the Israelites during their first years in Egypt. During the Seder, the karpas is dipped in either salt water or vinegar in order to taste both the hope of new birth and the tears the Israelite slaves shed over their strife.

*Hazeret: A second bitter herb– to really drive home the bitterness/suffering point. Like how your friend’s mom keeps nudging him to find a nice Jewish girl.

So, what do I bring?:

Matzoh Ball Soup

If you really want to dazzle your hosts, I recommend contributing this Matzoh Ball Soup, which yields fluffy matzoh balls and was the perfect appetizer to my and Justin’s dinner last night. If you have a sweet tooth, this Almond-Coconut Berry Tart (to which I added a layer of chocolate) has a special place in my heart. Early in our relationship (six years ago!), Justin invited me to celebrate Passover with him and, after some clueless Googling of the holiday and burning myself in one of my first ever attempts at baking, I showed up with this dessert, which he says is the moment he fell in love with me.

There are many finer points and details about the holiday (it is eight days, after all), but, if you’re simply looking for an overview and not to embarrass yourself during your friend’s/boss’/neighbors’/new significant other’s Seder, you should be all set. Chag sameach!

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