The Goy’s Guide to Passover from an Honorary Jew

Quick: why is this Passover cake a fail in more ways than one? No clue? Read on, my Gentile friend.

Yesterday marked the beginning of Passover, the eight-day Jewish holiday commemorating the liberation of the Israelites from slavery in ancient Egypt. The traditions observed during the holiday encourage the Jewish people to reflect on and, to a degree, relive the history of their ancestors to better appreciate their experiences. Justin often jokes that Jewish holidays revolve around eating and drinking under the guise of religious observance, and food and wine certainly play a starring role during Passover. If you’re headed to a Seder tonight and are looking for a goy’s guide to the holiday, this honorary Jew has covered the basics for you:

Pesach:
The Hebrew term for Passover. The word means to pass through or over, symbolizing God passing over and sparing Jewish households during the slaying of the firstborn in Egypt.

Chametz:
Perhaps the most significant observance during Passover is the elimination of chametz, or leavened grains, which commemorates the fact that the Jews fleeing Egypt did not have time to allow their bread to rise. Goodbye, carbs. Anything made from the five major grains (wheat, rye, barley, oats, and spelt) that has not been completely cooked within 18 minutes after first coming into contact with water is considered chametz and is not eaten during Passover. Some families even clear their homes of all chametz (and do a thorough cleaning any surface that may have come into contact with it) leading up to the holiday. Full disclosure: my Hawaiian shortbread cookies are still in our cupboard. Depending on someone’s ethnic origins, they may also avoid rice, corn, and legumes, which are grown and/or processed near chametz. These items are referred to as kitniyot. Symbolically, the practice also encourages one to remove the puffiness (i.e. arrogance) from their lives–a little dose of Jewish guilt for when people are feeling sorry for themselves and missing bread.

Matzoh: 
Ah, matzoh. These cracker-like unleavened sheets of bread take the place of chametz during Passover. If you begin to opine that matzoh “isn’t that bad,” you will annoy everyone at the table who will invariably be sick of the stuff in two days.

The Seder:
The focal point of Passover is the Seder, a fifteen-step family tradition and dinner observed on the first two nights of the holiday (i.e. this is where you come in, Gentile). During the Seder, someone will read from the Haggadah, a liturgy that tells the story of the exodus from Egypt and explains the symbols and practices of the holiday. See? Instructions are built-in! Follow along and you’ll be fine. Bonus: you get to drink four glasses of wine. You know, to commemorate freedom.

The Seder Plate:
Each item on the Seder plate has a symbolic meaning relevant to the Passover story. 

*Shankbone (Zro’a): A roasted shankbone symbolizes the lamb that the Jews sacrificed as a special Passover offering before their exodus.

*Egg (Beitzah): A hard-boiled egg represents the traditional offering at the temple in Jerusalem that was required on every holiday. The roundness of the egg also symbolizes the cycle of life– even in the most difficult of times, there is hope for a new beginning. In the words of Rust Cohle…time is a flat circle.

*Bitter Herbs (Maror): Bitter herbs such as horseradish serve as a reminder of the bitterness of slavery.

*Charoset: This mixture of apples, nuts and wine represents the mortar used by the Israelite slaves as they constructed buildings for the Pharaoh and is delicious.

*Karpas: A green vegetable, usually parsley, that represents the initial flourishing of the Israelites during their first years in Egypt. During the Seder, the karpas is dipped in either salt water or vinegar in order to taste both the hope of new birth and the tears the Israelite slaves shed over their strife.

*Hazeret: A second bitter herb– to really drive home the bitterness/suffering point. Like how your friend’s mom keeps nudging him to find a nice Jewish girl.

So, what do I bring?:

If you really want to dazzle your hosts, I recommend contributing this Matzoh Ball Soup, which yields fluffy matzoh balls and was the perfect appetizer to my and Justin’s dinner last night. If you have a sweet tooth, this Almond-Coconut Berry Tart (to which I added a layer of chocolate) has a special place in my heart. Early in our relationship (six years ago!), Justin invited me to celebrate Passover with him and, after some clueless Googling of the holiday and burning myself in one of my first ever attempts at baking, I showed up with this dessert, which he says is the moment he fell in love with me.

There are many finer points and details about the holiday (it is eight days, after all), but, if you’re simply looking for an overview and not to embarrass yourself during your friend’s/boss’/neighbors’/new significant other’s Seder, you should be all set. Chag sameach!

A Picture Perfect Birthday Weekend

Over the weekend, I rang in my 25th birthday and celebrated the occasion the best way I know how: surrounded by delicious food and great friends.

My official birthday and party weren’t until Sunday, but my boyfriend wanted to make my big 2-5 an extra special one and planned a surprise “Birthday Adventure” for us on Saturday. The day kicked off with a map showing the location of and activity at each of our stops, but I was left to fill in the blanks. While I was embarrassed to correctly guess only one stop, I was also tickled by the idea of a whole day full of surprises.

For our first surprise stop, we headed downtown to Bread Lounge to fuel up. The new-ish bakery specializes European-style pastries such as croissants and focaccias and, of course, bread. Bread Lounge’s industrial-inspired décor may be sparse, but its menu offerings were anything but. Between the chockfull menu boards and the bountiful display case, we first time visitors needed a few moments to take everything in before narrowing down our options.

Eventually, I zeroed in on the Gringo, a pizza-like focaccia topped with two eggs, bacon, crumbled feta and cherry tomatoes, which was heated to order. Funnily enough, this focaccia was the very reason that Justin decided on Bread Lounge as our first stop. He knows me so well! Boasting a crispy yet pliable crust that rivals some of the best pizzas in the city and generous, hearty toppings, the Gringo was pretty much flawless. With bacon n’ eggs and a latte in our bellies (and a fruit pastry to-go), we set off for our next surprise stop.

Filling our apartment with fresh flowers is one of my absolute favorite indulgences and, for our second stop, we visited the Flower District to stock up.

How funny is this sign?



There’s no flower I love more than the soft, delicate and feminine pink peony and looking out on this sea of them made my heart flutter and nearly caused me to dance through the market Sound of Music-style.

Justin treated me to two bunches of peonies and some hydrangeas, and now they fill every room in our apartment. *Swoon*

My Birthday Adventure itinerary advised me to save room for our third stop, and, when we pulled up to Langer’s Deli, I was glad I listened. Opened in 1947, Langer’s has earned kudos for its pastrami from even the most die-hard New Yorkers and is a spot that I’ve always meant to try but, somehow, never have.

To start, I ordered a Vanilla Egg Cream, soda fountain throwback made with seltzer, milk and vanilla syrup, which was delightfully frothy and sweet.

Langer’s has served more than 4 million pounds of pastrami in its 65 years, and it’s safe to say that much of that was served as a #19, its most popular sandwich. In the #19, a mountain of hand-cut hot pastrami, coleslaw, Russian dressing and Swiss cheese are served on double baked rye bread. Justin and I both loved the tender pastrami and agreed that the crisp, double baked bread was Langer’s secret weapon in the battle for pastrami sandwich domination.

After spending all morning with the human love of my life, I turned my attention to my four-legged one. When Justin and I adopted our dog Mona about two and a half years ago, we noticed that the intake date on her shelter paperwork was coincidentally the same date as my birthday. I took this as a sign that she and I were always meant to be and decided to celebrate her “birthday” on the same day as mine. To celebrate Mona’s special day, we took her to Three Dog Bakery for a doggie sundae and some “pupcakes.” Mona enjoyed herself so much that she got downright stubborn when it came time to leave.

Later, armed only with a suggested dress code and our reservation time, I hopped in the car and we set off for dinner, stopping finally at chef Michael Voltaggio’s ink…but more on that here.

Perhaps my favorite surprise of the entire lovely day was my birthday cake, which was carefully selected by Justin and drew an audible gasp from me when we picked it up from Valerie Confections. Appropriately pink and girly, the Rose Petal Cake was made with vanilla bean cake, rose petal passion fruit ganache, covered in white chocolate glaze and finished with candied rose petals. If you’ve read this blog for any amount of time, you know my obsession with both rose and passion fruit, and I’m hard-pressed to come up with any cake more perfect for the occasion.

On Sunday, I practically had to roll myself out of bed for my party at Sunny Spot…

…but of course found room for a Bottomless Rum Punch and a Two-Fisted Burger…with a fried egg (previously written about here).

As the weekend drew to a close and I headed into the office, I thought my days of birthday gluttony were behind me, but my amazing co-workers had other ideas and ordered a special delivery from Donut Snob (previously written about here).

Where to begin?!

Thank you to my friends and family for celebrating with me and for making my 25th birthday truly the most wonderful one yet. Thank you especially to Justin for planning one of the best days I’ve ever had and to Mona for being your adorable, wiggle-butt self.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some research on juice cleanses to do.

Bread Lounge
www.twitter.com/breadlounge
700 S. Santa Fe Ave.
Los Angeles, CA 90021
(213) 327-0782

Langer’s
www.langersdeli.com
704 S. Alvarado St.
Los Angeles, CA 90057
(213) 483-8050


Valerie Confections
www.valerieconfections.com
3360 W. 1st St.
Los Angeles, CA 90004
(213) 739-8149


ink
www.mvink.com
8360 Melrose Ave.
Los Angeles, CA 90069
(323) 655-7225

Sunny Spot
www.sunnyspotvenice.com
822 Washington Blvd.
Venice, CA 90292
(310) 448-8884

Donut Snob
www.thedonutsnob.com
www.twitter.com/DonutSnob

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Traif (Brooklyn, NY)

For any true food fanatic, a trip to New York City necessitates compiling a lengthy to-eat list. Despite varying tastes and budgets, these often lists are often populated by the same handful of names prescribed by the Food Network or Travel Channel: Le Bernardin, Eleven Madison Park, Minnetta Tavern, Shake Shack, Gray’s Papaya.

Another restaurant, however, deserves a spot on your NY must-eat list: Traif.

Of Hebrew origin, the word “traif” refers to food not in accordance with Jewish dietary laws. For this reason, the restaurant’s location in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, where Hasidic and hipster cultures intersect, is both perfect and ironic (perfectly ironic?).

In the kitchen is Chef Jason Marcus, who co-owns the restaurant with girlfriend Heather Heuser. Marcus’ impressive resume boasts time at both Le Bernardin and Eleven Madison Park before opening Traif in April 2010. Highbrow cooking without the hefty fine dining price tag? Yes, please. The menu, which changes daily, celebrates the delicious and the forbidden because, let’s face it, food is tastier when you’re not supposed to eat it.

Our table of four–two Jews and two goys– was greeted with an amuse bouche of miso broth shooters, which instantly zapped our tastebuds’ attention with their delightfully and uniquely potent flavor.

Our dinner officially began with the arrival of salt and pepper spicy lobster, sweet potatoes, pineapple and string beans ($15.00). The bite-sized pieces of lobster were creamy on the outside and snappy on the inside– an overall texture reminiscent of honey walnut shrimp. The pineapple cubes brightened up the mellow flavor of the lobster, but the fruit’s trademark tang was kept in check by the butternut squash.

With smoked and braised pork bellies and cheeks as well as kielbasa, the heirloom pork cassoulet ($10.00) boasted enough of the curly-tailed creature to make anyone’s bubbe say, “Oy vey!” The porky flavors beautifully soaked into the dish’s lentils and came together nicely in a mix of different tastes and textures.

The duck confit lettuce wraps ($8.00) arrived with shredded duck, cucumber salad and a banana-tamarind sauce to swaddle in soft lettuce leaves. The sauce was sweet but subdued enough to complement rather than overpower the duck’s sumptuous flavor.

The crispy sweetbreads with purple eggplant, brussel sprouts and fork-mashed Yukons* ($15.00) were a huge hit and favorite of the table. The morsels of sweetbreads were cooked to buttery perfection, practically melting in my mouth. The brussel sprouts were pleasantly crispy and salty, adding a delightful contrast to the sweetness of the sweetbreads. The eggplant added another meaty texture to the dish, while the fork-mashed Yukon potatoes were creamy and added another level of decadence to the exceptional dish.

Distinct flavors melded harmoniously in the tender, bite-sized lamb and chorizo meatballs ($8.00). After each bite, the smooth flavor of asiago slowly spread through my whole mouth with a fluid-like ease. I could think of nothing I wanted more than a meatball sub made entirely of these un-kosher goodies.

Our last savory plate was the seared scallops with butternut squash, huckleberries and pumpkin seeds* ($16.00). Given Chef Marcus’ time at Le Bernardin, it was no surprise that the scallops were fantastic: perfectly seared on the outside while still moist on the inside. The butternut squash puree was incredibly smooth with a sweetness that complemented the scallops nicely. The pumpkin seeds added a crunch to the dish while the huckleberries added both sweetness and acidity.

For our first dessert, we ordered bacon doughnuts, dulce de leche and coffee ice cream ($6.00), a perfect juxtaposition of things Jewish and forbidden to the Chosen people. Although I like bacon desserts in theory, I usually end up loathing them in actuality. These puffy, doughy morsels, however, were topped with just the right amount of bacon for taste and texture. The side of coffee ice cream made this the sugar addict’s breakfast dream. After devouring this plate, we were none too surprised several days later when we heard that New York Magazine had selected the dish as one of its favorite desserts in its Where to Eat 2011 issue.

With whole cranberries and hints of ginger topped with a crumbly crust and passion fruit ice cream, our second dessert was cobbler perfection ($6.00). The tastes, textures and temperatures combined to create something so wonderful that we nearly requested a second order. I am still thinking of this dish and wish that we had gone with our gluttonous instincts.

All of our dishes were cheeky and inventive and executed remarkably well. We continued to talk about our meal not only for the rest of the night but also for the duration of our trip. We dined at Traif just in time for me to add it to my list of favorite eats in 2010.

Traif

www.traifny.com

229 S. 4th Street

Brooklyn, NY 11211

(347) 844-9578

*Adam M., food writer for the Hastings High School Buzzer (and brother of J!), contributed to this post.

The Gorbals

I have long wanted to visit The Gorbals. Named after the immigrant neighborhood in Glasgow, Scotland in which chef and owner Ilan Hall’s father grew up, The Gorbals boasts an eclectic, oddball menu with Scottish, Jewish, Spanish and American influences that arouses one’s curiosity.

After visiting The Manila Machine at last week’s Art Walk, J and I decided to finally cross The Gorbals off our “to-eat” list and pay the Top Chef’s restaurant a visit.

The dining room features a stark, industrial design with white brick walls, cement floors and walnut-stained tables, chairs and benches. Whether an homage to its immigrant roots or an engagement with the downtown LA loft aesthetic, the design manages to create a simultaneously homey and sleek ambience.

Rarely ever am I intrigued by every item on the menu (with the exception of the seafood, of course), but, by keeping the menu small and focused, Chef Hall has created some appetizing-sounding “savories” and “sweets.”

For our sharing/snacking menu, J and I began with the bacon-wrapped matzoh balls ($5.00)–the dish almost singlehandedly responsible for our visit. Although J’s family was aghast at the idea when we mentioned it, he (as a treif-lover) and I (as an honorary Jew) reveled in the irony of the dish.

Hall’s version of the traditional dish maintained the essence of the original but took it to the next level; I enjoyed that the matzoh balls were still pillowy soft and loved the added crunch of the crispy bacon. Although horseradish often goes untouched on my Seder plate, the harsh flavors were mellowed by the mayo, resulting in a creamy, savory topping that perfectly finished the matzoh balls.

We also ordered the burger with mayo and a fried egg ($14.00) which, unfortunately, did follow in the footsteps of its delicious predecessor. With too heavily dressed lettuce, it was difficult to taste either the mayo or the egg amidst the vinegary flavors, and the already soft bun quickly grew soggy.

I hope to visit The Gorbals again soon to sample the other Jewish-inspired dishes (hello, latkes!) and will be sure to go on an empty stomach next time.

The Gorbals

www.thegorbalsla.com

501 S. Spring St.

Los Angeles, CA 90013

(213) 488-3408

Passover @ Angeli Caffe

This is not your Bubbe’s Passover dinner.

Every year, Evan Kleiman–super chef, slow food proponent and host of KCRW’s “Good Food”— celebrates Passover with a special, one-night dinner at her restaurant Angeli Caffe. For the last two years, J and I have looked at Evan’s menu, discussed how delicious it would be, lamented our college-student budget and went back to munching on matzah. This year, however, we decided to splurge in the name of Pesach and head to Angeli for a fusion Sefardic/Ashkenazi/Italian dinner.

Upon arriving, we were greeted by matzah, Sefardic charoset (dates, oranges, raisins, nuts and spices), long-cooked eggs tinted with onion skins and family-style tables. The grouping of the tables lent a lovely communal feel to the dining experience, and our table of eight really enjoyed chatting throughout the meal.

The first dish out of the kitchen was hummus–one side with lamb and one with pine nuts. Although this was delicious, I couldn’t help but wish that I had a nice piece of bread to go with it…darn.

Next up were leek croquettes and potato fritters. Both had great flavor (particularly the leek), and it was next to impossible to stop popping these bite-size buggers into my mouth.

After the fried food came lighter fare–fattoush (parsley, radicchio, and Napa cabbage salad with lemon vinaigrette). Although this was tangy and tasty, my tummy was more interested in saving room for the heartier food to come.

The first meat dish of the night was Moroccan fish croquettes in cinnamon-scented tomato sauce. J enjoyed this, calling it a “Moroccan take on gefilte fish.” As a fish-hater, I took his word on it.

Next up was Tortino di Azzime, a matzah lasagna (matzagna?) of vegetables and fresh tomato-basil sauce. After being baked with the vegetables and sauce, the matzah took on an interesting, softer, almost pasta-like texture. Although J and I make matzah pizza for Passover, a matzah lasagna had never crossed my mind.

The quinoa salad with spring vegetables was one of my favorite dishes of the night. The salad was incredibly fresh-tasting and was lemon-y and crunchy. Although there was some debate about whether the quinoa was Kosher for Passover for Ashkenazi Jews, this honorary Jew gobbled up several servings of the salad.

Then came the pollo arrosto— a roast chicken cooked with rosemary, garlic and lemon. This was, without a doubt, one of the best roast chickens I have ever eaten. It was perfection–the chicken fell off the bone and had enough seasoning to highlight all the flavors but not so much as to detract from the flavor of the chicken itself. Yum.

Served at the same time was Evan’s pot roast. Juicy and tender with a hint of orange, the pot roast was outstanding and a big hit at our table.

Sadly, the appetizers and entrees were finished. Happily, it was time for dessert. To finish the meal, Evan prepared an almond berry cream cake served with fresh strawberries. Sweet and dense, the almond berry cream cake was so delicious that J and I almost ordered a second serving (hey, that little square was small!).

As expected, Evan Kleiman’s Passover dinner was just as (if not more) delicious as every other meal at Angeli Caffe. What is more, the environment was very warm and welcoming (even for a goy like me) and I’d recommend the annual dinner to anyone who likes good food and experiencing a different culture. You can bet J and I will be back next year.

Angeli Caffe

www.angelicaffe.com

7274 Melrose Avenue

Los Angeles, CA 90046

(323) 936-9086

Mexican Passover at Rosa Mexicano

Passover begins tonight at sunset, and many restaurants are hosting Passover dinners (or seders) or offering Passover-inspired menus. Although a seemingly unlikely candidate for a Passover menu, LA Live’s Rosa Mexicano will be hosting a “Mexican Passover” from March 24-April 5 as part of their “Flavors of Mexico” program.

This weekend, Rosa Mexicano’s Executive Chef John England hosted a cooking demo of some of the Passover-inspired dishes–complete with recipes. Although some of the dishes include flour or mix chicken stock and dairy, these ingredients could easily be substituted with ones that are kosher for Passover.

On Saturday, Chef England made (and let his wannabe chefs sample):

Appetizers:

Crema de Pollo con Chile Guajillo/Creamy Chicken and Guajillo Chile Soup

Spinach and Potato Kugel

Entree:

Mixiote de Barbacoa de Res/Banana Leaf Wrapped Beef Brisket

Dessert:

Emparedado de Helado/Mexican Macaroon Ice Cream Sandwich with Blueberry Swirl Creme Fraiche Ice Cream and Pistachio Macaroons (garnished with Tomatillo-Blueberry Compote and Lemon Creme Fraiche)

Although some of the dishes were a little too complicated for this kitchen novice (it was difficult just to follow Chef England as he made the macaroon!), I intend to pull elements from all of the dishes for this year’s Passover. For example, the salsa for the mixiote (brisket) can also be used as a marinade for skirt steak, chicken, or short ribs. I’d also love to attempt to make my own macaroons.

The Mexican Macaroon Ice Cream Sandwich

Chef England was lovely, informative and was very helpful in suggesting grocery stores/markets where one might find the uncommon ingredients in the dishes.

Rosa Mexicano hosts themed cooking demos throughout the year. Be sure to check out the Chef’s Corner of the Rosa Mexicano website for details on upcoming events.

Feel free to email nomsnotbombs@gmail.com if you’re interested in any of these recipes.

Rosa Mexicano at L.A. Live

www.rosamexicano.com

800 W. Olympic Blvd.

Los Angeles, CA 90025

(213) 746-0001

Being Sick Could Only Mean: Langer’s

I don’t know what I used to eat when I was sick before I knew about Jewish food. Now, thanks to J, it’s my go-to at the first sign of a sore throat or the sniffles. The food is so warm, hearty and carb-a-licious that, even if I still feel like crap when I’m done with my meal, at least I’m a little happier. And so, today, it was Langer’s to the rescue!

Langer’s, located in Westlake, is famed for its menu’s #19–the pastrami sandwich that many claim is the best pastrami sandwich in the US. I, however, have only braved the crowded, busy streets of Alvarado in the fog of a headcold or amidst a flu-induced coughing fit (which, given the pretty shady area, is maybe not the best idea but c’est la vie) and have never actually tried this famed sandwich. The fact that they close at 4 PM every day also has something to do with this…

In the 1920s, Westlake had a primarily Jewish population and was the LA equivalent of New York’s Upper East Side. Upon stepping into Langer’s, you certainly get a blast from the Westlake past and completely forget that you’re in the middle of a busy, urban area.

The interior definitely has the diner/deli kitsch factor going with its counters, quilted booths and more shades of brown and orange than you knew existed.

I ordered my standard “I’m sick and in need of comfort meal”: Matzoh ball soup, potato knishes and kasha varnishkes. For you goys out there like me, knishes are a snack food made of dough wrapped around a filling (in my case, potato) and kasha varnishkes is bowtie pasta cooked with buckwheat and onions.

I don’t know what to say about kasha varnishkes other than that it’s delicious and absolutely perfect when you’re sick (or any time, really). Some places serve it with gravy, but I really like getting the flavor of the onions and buckwheat in every bite and being able to feel the difference in texture between the buckwheat and the pasta.

I hate 99.9% of soups. I just don’t understand it. It’s not filling, but it’s not light, and I get bored of eating it. I do, however, love matzoh ball soup, and Langer’s is delicious. The matzoh ball is soft but not so soft that it falls apart when you dig in with your spoon. The broth was also flavorful and was really soothing on my throat.

I’ve eaten more than a few knishes in my days, but I’ve never seen ones like this! They were practically the size of baseballs! These were really yummy, but the outer layer of dough was a little thicker than I’d have liked and, after a while, I scooped out the potato from the middle and ate that with ketchup.

This huge amount of food all came out to about $17–not too shabby–and I still have leftovers. In fact, I’m going to go eat some kasha varnishke right now.

Langer’s

www.langersdeli.com

704 S. Alvarado St.

Los Angeles, CA, 90057

(213) 483-8050